thoughts about the job

I've been doing a lot of comparison lately. I think, do I like living in this apartment, or at Frazee? Do I like working at this job, or at Smith Barney? Do I like driving the van, or the Honda? Most things are a quick answer, but some have needed a little more thought.

I love working my internship. I enjoy all of the people, and I do honestly enjoy reading the scripts I am given. I don't mind answering the phones and doing other office tasks that many people complain about. Besides reading scripts, my job is pretty similar to last summer's receptionist job, but there's something that enjoy so much more about this office.

Like everything, film is a business. The atmosphere around here is pretty similar to other offices I've been in. There are people who work harder than others, and some people get paid more than others.

At Smith Barney, a lot of the brokers would really slack off. Their assistants did most of their work, and what the assistants didn't do often got handed off to me. The brokers left the office a lot, would take days off to golf, and we were left to cover for them when an upset client would call, demanding to speak to the person they pay to handle their money. I think it's really funny that here in Los Angeles, California, where I work for some producers who are kind-of-a-big-deal, they come into the office more than the brokers for a small firm in Dayton, Ohio.

What's the difference? These people love what they do. They love the industry, they love movies, they love their jobs. Sure, the money is nice, but what I think boils down to it is that they enjoy the work, too. Stock brokers love money, these people love movies.

That's why I am studying film. I love it. I love being on set, I love doing pre-production work. I love reading scripts and the people I've met. There are few things I love more than film. And you can't major in being friends.

Recently the thought of "growing up" has started to thrill me. I know that there's a long road ahead of me, but I'm excited to start my hike. There's an entire year until I graduate, and I know that it will go by faster than I would like. This morning I watched a line of children walk through the campus oval. It was cute. (note: I am not baby-crazy.)

I finished my history exam this morning, and I'm done with tests. Today I need to write my German Film paper that I have been dreading/putting off for about a week now. Luckily, I love the film I am writing it on (Goodbye, Lenin!) so it won't be too painful.

Sunday night, Marie, Meg and I set up my tent in the living room. It makes locomotion in the apartment pretty difficult, but we've all come to like watching TV, studying, chatting, eating, and sleeping in the tent. Yeah, setting up a tent in our messy apartment was a really good idea. We are thinking about keeping the tent up year-round in the basement next year. (Well, I am thinking about that.) Basically, I want to live in a camp.

Dad has been mapping out our trip out to California. I'm pretty sure that he's trying to make it into a vacation. Friday night we are stopping in Tulsa, OK, Saturday night we are stopping in Santa Fe, NM, and on Sunday night we are stopping in a city in Nevada on the Colorado River. I'm pretty sure it's a little out of the way, but apparently Alan is really excited about it. I talked to my mother yesterday and she laughed at him for being so excited. I can't wait to drive across the country.

Now I'm going to prolong writing my paper and go to Finders to finally get my copy of The Reminder by Feist! Oh Leslie Feist, I love you. Please be my friend.

Edit: In case anyone was wondering, The Reminder is lovely.

And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

I'm constantly evaluating and questioning myself, as this is the best way for personal growth. Lately I have taken a closer look at my values, and tried to trace them back to where they came from. I think that it's safe to say that a generally good upbringing has instilled many of my core values and beliefs.

In addition to teachings from my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, I spent many hours after school in the classrooms at St. Charles Borromeo Parish. CCD (Continuing Catholic Development) was set up to fill me with respect for myself, fellow man, and a pretty intense fear of going to Hell. I was also given candy every week.

check out the Stations of the Cross band, featuring pat, ryan, david, david, and myself, 4/03

I grew up about eight blocks East of the Kettering YMCA. The time that I didn't spend playing at the park or sitting in St. Charles, I spent at the YMCA. Mom signed us up for soccer, swimming, basketball (that's a whole other story), and the best time of my life: YMCA Indian Princesses. We were allowed to pick Indian names, I was Golden Rainbow, and play in the woods with very loose supervision from our fathers. While I didn't particularly gain a respect for Native Americans (we mocked their culture, really) I did learn a great respect for the outdoors. We went on hikes and learned about the effects of pollution, cleaned up wild life areas, and had a nature report at every monthly meeting.

Golden Rainbow and Howlin' Wolf of the Blackfoot tribe, Kipoo Nation, 8/94

I started thinking about this organization recently in respect to the way I "turned out." When I was seven, I earned the Aims Patch. In order to earn this patch, you must memorize the five fundamental conventions of the organization. They are as follows:

1. To be clean in body and pure in heart
2. To be friends always with my dad
3. To love the sacred circle of my family
4. To listen while others speak
5. To seek and preserve the beauty of the Great Spirit's work: forest, field and stream

I'm trying to keep these five basic foundations in mind. A sportmanship code was recited before every YMCA soccer game, the Girl Scout Promise was recited at the beginning of every meeting. Why have we abandoned the rules of the organizations that shaped us as children? As we grow in age, wisdom is supposed to follow. As children we are taught the Golden Rule.

I have rejected many aspects of adulthood, and I am now attempting to divert back to my childhood ways in how I treat others. If anyone catches me breaking any of the promises or laws I was taught as a child, please put me in time out.

/ramble